Perspective

I woke up this morning in a fine mood. Made three cups of chocolate milk and sat down to watch Sunday Morning on CBS and have a cup of tea. Big Brother came in and cuddled up next to me. After about 10 minutes he said, "I'm hungry Mom, can you go fix some breakfast." I told him that I was having my tea and he could go get himself a breakfast bar. "But I don't want a breakfast bar," he whined, “I’ve been here for hours.” I told him, “you can hop your little butt up and get the chocolate milk that is in the fridge and that should tide you over until I am ready to get up. Or…you can go back to bed until you change your attitude.”

Without delving much deeper, his attitude didn’t change and I joined him. I was amazed how hard it was to get out of my “fed up” attitude. I was short tempered, grumpy, and anti social. I had to force myself to go play with the kids in their room, only to realize they hadn’t had their breathing treatment. That started another round of whining. All I could do was pray for nap time.

My husband called me sometime after nap and I explained that “I am digging deep into the pit of my soul right now to survive!” I don’t like to complain. I truly feel there could be worse things than whatever I am experiencing right now. Once I actually said those words, it was like I flipped a switch. Really, was it THAT bad…no. That was all it took.

Verbalizing my feelings helped to put them into perspective. My day suddenly felt normal. I cleaned up the house and had the In Laws over for dinner (they brought the food, I cooked desert.) I enjoyed some company, and let the kids stay up a little late for a school night.

Perspective

This mood has me in a death grip
It’s cold, it’s bleak, it’s grey.
I’m frustrated by the weight of it
I feel smothered by decay.

I try to move on through this shit
But a shadow sits in my way.
As if a Bad Mood Goblin
has moved on in to stay.

Within my heart I rant and rave
and felt no one could share my pain.
But the moment that I gained perspective,
was the moment when I became reflective.

What a life I get to lead,
My heart still beats, and yes I bleed.
There is too much love that surrounds me here,
To waist my day holding onto tears.